Anyone Have Some Cheese?

Posted by on May 1, 2012

Let me begin this post by saying that I kinda like the city of Philly. They have decent cheesesteaks. They have a couple of decent landmarks. They have that one cool place you can go to watch a game.

That’s about it.

I believe Philly would be a much better place if it wasn’t for the fact that the people that live there seem to embrace the fact that they are douchebags.

The Phillies have won recently, but LOL baseball. The Eagles were the best team in the NFL last season, until they actually played the games. The 76ers…

Ask any PhLOLyers fan and they’ll tell you the Devils suck. The Rangers suck (which is true, but they’ve won sometime in the last 20 years). The Pens suck (partially true, but they’ve won recently). Counter that with the sad fact that their team hasn’t won The Cup since 1975 – NINETEEN SEVENTY FIVE! – and they will retort with… “the Devils suck!”

A fantastic and well thought out rebuttal, but it doesn’t say much for their own team, given the New Jersey Devils’ success.

Suc·cess (noun) \sək-ˈses\
1 a : degree or measure of succeeding
b : favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence
2 : one that succeeds

I put that there for PhLOLyers fans. I’m sure they struggle with the word.

But again, the fact that they seem to enjoy their status as uneducated douchebags is the most disturbing part. Most of the time, if you try to argue with them, you end up with some version of this:

Now we have PhLOLyers fans whining that Devils fans don’t want them at The Rock. Really. Just do a little search on Facebook or Twitter. If you really want to annoy them and get some whiny feedback, make sure to use the #JustSayNo2Orange hashtag on Twitter.

We also have this, where they whine about Will Carafello – who only has 485 followers, so who cares what he thinks! (Thank you, Micheal Yormark) – saying the Devils want to keep The Rock Red. (I have 3,400+ followers, by the way, so you all should take what I’m writing here seriously).

Should Will, who works for the Devils, be pushing ticket sales to opposing fans? Is that what these clowns are mad about?

Why would we want those people here? So that they can taint a place that hosts a successful team with your tradition of losing and douchebaggary?

(By the way, DEVILS FANS can get tickets here)

Oh, and that ratings tidbit. That’ll help you win games. No, really! It will. Seriously. I mean it. For real.

Or maybe we just don’t want them to piss on random things when they visit our house. Go mark your territory in your own city. The smell just blends in.

For a fan base that seems so (falsely) confident, they sure do whine about the dumbest things.

Anyway, haha, we get it, we have no fans. I mean, it’s not like we sold out all three home games in the first round against a team who’s fans don’t travel very well.

I’ve said it to many people and I’ll repeat it again: I’d rather sit at The Rock with 10 other people and see a Championship team than sit at some dump that’s sold out and watch my team fail miserably year after year.

So go ahead, PhLOLyers fans. Invade The Rock if it makes you feel better somehow. If you think that will actually help your team win. I mean, it has helped out in the past, right?

I know there are whiners in every fan base (I’ve heard a hell of a lot of it coming from Devils’ fans lately), but when you combine it with this level of douchbaggery, it’s embarrassing.

And, as always, not all fans are this way. There are just a lot of them in Philly. But I know plenty of PhLOLyers fans who are just as normal as us Devils fans. Really.

But some fans embrace the way they are perceived and have that keep them warm at night. And that’s okay.


And now some other videos for your entertainment:






Last modified on May 1, 2012

Categories: General

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6 Responses to “Anyone Have Some Cheese?”

  1. W Says:

    There’s also a gross misunderstanding of how the TV ratings work. The ratings are based on percentages of the area they’re polling, not an absolute number. The New York area has a much bigger population than the Philly area so a 1 rating in the NY area =/= to a 1 rating in the Philly Area

  2. Debs4life Says:

    I just wasted a few minutes reading this garbage.

    I should have stopped when I saw “LOL baseball.” Baseball is very entertaining, and my fellow fans will agree.

    And really PhLOLyers fan? THe author has the mentality of a teenage boy with an inferiority complex. I think he would fit perfectly in with the “douchebags” that he is describing.

  3. King James Says:

    You have classy fans too, there just are less of you to deal with:

  4. SpeakoftheDevs Says:

    Seems I struck a nerve. Oh, and I am douchebag, thanks for noticing!

  5. SpeakoftheDevs Says:

    Oh, that lady with no evidence that she’s a Devils fan is a Devils fan? Cool story.

  6. Vinny Says:

    Great article!! 1975!! and they come back with at least we sell out our building. I’m sorry i didnt know they gave out banners for selling out your building?? I do know they give out banners for winning the Stanley Cup and we have 3 since their last one! Philthy sucks, Lets Go Devils!!!!